How social media went from toxic to healing for me

Hitomi, Adriene, Michelle, Sophie, Meghan, Esther, Florence, Renee, Jonna, Alexandra. I have so many new women in my life and I haven’t even left my home. The amount of knowledge and positive energy I have received from social media and through digital content is mind-blowing.

It wasn’t always like that and through the years I had to stop posting for validation, unfollow Bella and Kendal, subscribe to Anna Huffington and SelfCare4U, and I had (and still do) go through social media detox phases.

Unable to travel to escape internal darkness, I have struggled a lot these past few months and instead of letting myself go, I found myself on the path of my self-journey. For those who are not familiar with this term, a self-journey is an experience that you start when you want to heal from past wounds that block you in the present moment. It’s different for everyone.

For me, it meant going back to opening my eyes to the many beauties in daily life and taking back the control of my own happiness (as opposed to giving it up to someone else). I used to have this self-love and confidence in me since I was a little girl. But somehow, in the years that followed my undergrad, I lost it, slowly.

My main source of pain was the way I love, and how I always try to please the people I love, to the point that I neglect my own needs. Lockdown has been the perfect opportunity to understand what it means to be the actor of my own life and define who I want to be and how I want to feel, despite the current situation and despite what society tells us.

In short, I’m learning to take full responsibility for my emotions. Rien ne m’arrive, tout est perception. And I get to pick my perception of reality.

When you decide to heal and grow, you are exposing yourself to a great deal of pain. Because “greatness comes with pain.” With time and repetition, I’ve learned that this pain comes from your brain’s resistance to change, from the discomfort to put yourself and your old toxic patterns into question. It’s temporary discomfort for a lighter self in the long term.

Content has been accelerating my learning process. Podcasts, Youtube videos, Instagram posts, book recommendations. I opened myself to exploring sources of content I used to overlook as shallow and “not for me.” I dived into new practices that taught me to know myself deeper than ever (setting intentions, mindful and slow living, meditation, manifestation). “Know thyself” is actually freaking awesome advice, thank you Plato.

As I wrote to my dad in an email, “there is a huge trend of peaceful influencers, and I’m surfing the wave.”

Online content is the mirror you wish it to be. You get to pick what you stare into, what you feed your eyes and ears on. I found myself so empowered by listening to other women’s testimonials of inner growth online. I’ll list a couple of the things I consumed below.

If mental awareness and vulnerability are trends in the 2020s, I predict a great future for humankind. I found a way to reconcile my love to love others with respecting my own needs and protecting my energy. Because, even if you don’t reap what you sow right away, by being kind and open to your own self, you actually grow a light that spreads to others around you.

And believe me, when you do, les petits tracas de la vie deviennent négligeables.

Off to join a cult of powerful women and mystical creatures, bye.

Gorgeous content and creators

• Florence Given posts about her journey in feminism on Instagram. Her book Women don’t owe you pretty has introduced me to the concept of temporary discomfort for a better-self in the longterm, breaking up with yourself, and setting healthy boundaries.
• Hitomi Mochizuki took me on her self-journey through simple, refreshing videos. Her energy radiates through the screen, wear sunglasses.
• Renee Amberg is the embodiment of aesthetic meets vulnerability. Her tips on productivity, budgeting makes her extra helpful.
• Alexandra Cooper is both shocking and hilarious. Her podcast Call Her Daddy gave me the best solo laughs on my bus rides.

This is just to mention a few.

If you have the chance to share this material with beautiful women in your own life, it makes it extraaaa sweet.